***This is an informational piece. It is a compendium of many different works. It is not a stand alone tool. See inspirational sources at the bottom.***
We each have our own way of dealing with conflict. The techniques we use are
based on many variables such as our basic underlying temperament, our personality,
our environment and where we are in our professional career. However, by and
large there are five major styles of conflict management techniques in our tool box. In
order to address conflict we draw from a collaborating, competing, avoiding,
harmonizing or compromising style of management. None of these strategies is
superior in and of itself. How effective they are depends on the context in which they
Each statement below provides a strategy for dealing with a conflict. Rate each
statement on a scale of 1 to 4 indicating how likely you are to use this strategy.
1 = Rarely 2 = Sometimes 3 = Often 4 = Always
Be sure to answer the questions indicating how you would behave rather than how
you think you should behave.
1. I explore issues with others so as to find solutions that meet everyone‟s needs.
2. I try to negotiate and adopt a give-and-take approach to problem situations
3. I try to meet the expectations of others.
4. I would argue my case and insist on the merits of my point of view.
5. When there is a disagreement, I gather as much information as I can and keep the lines
of communication open.
6. When I find myself in an argument, I usually say very little and try to leave as soon as
7. I try to see conflicts from both sides. What do I need? What does the other person
need? What are the issues involved?
8. I prefer to compromise when solving problems and just move on.
9. I find conflicts challenging and exhilarating; I enjoy the battle of wits that usually
10. Being at odds with other people makes me feel uncomfortable and anxious.
11. I try to accommodate the wishes of my friends and family.
12. I can figure out what needs to be done and I am usually right.
13. To break deadlocks, I would meet people halfway.
14. I may not get what I want but it‟s a small price to pay for keeping the peace.
15. I avoid hard feelings by keeping my disagreements with others to myself.
How to score the Conflict Management Quiz:
As stated, the 15 statements correspond to the five conflict resolution styles. To find
your most preferred style, total the points in the respective categories. The one with
the highest score indicates your most commonly used strategy. The one with the lowest
score indicates your least preferred strategy. However, if you are a leader
who must deal with conflict on a regular basis, you may find your style to be a blend
Style Corresponding Statements: Total:
Collaborating: 1, 5, 7
Competing: 4, 9, 12
Avoiding: 6, 10 15
Harmonizing: 3, 11, 14
Compromising: 2, 8, 13
Collaborating Style: Problems are solved in ways in which an optimum result is
provided for all involved.
Both sides get what they want and negative feelings are minimized.
Pros: Creates mutual trust; maintains positive relationships; builds commitments.
Cons: Time consuming; energy consuming.
Competing Style: Authoritarian approach.
Pros: Goal oriented; quick.
Cons: May breed hostility.
Avoiding Style: The non-confrontational approach.
Pros: Does not escalate conflict; postpones difficulty.
Cons: Unaddressed problems; unresolved problems.
Harmonizing Style: Giving in to maintain relationships.
Pros: Minimizes injury when we are outmatched; relationships are maintained.
Cons: Breeds resentment; exploits the weak.
Compromising Style: The middle ground approach.
Pros: Useful in complex issues without simple solutions; all parties are equal in power.
Cons: No one is ever really satisfied; less than optimal solutions get implemented.
Upcoming I will take a look at how these management styles might be used and possibly overused.
*** MBPT, TKI, Arnold Temperament,FIRO-B and many others***